1. If anything can go wrong, it will.
2. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the first to go wrong.
3. If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
4. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, totally unprepared for, will promptly develop.
5. Left to themselves things tend to go from bad to worse.
6. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
7. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
8. Mother Nature is a bitch.
Murphy was an optimist.
Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, The roof caves in.
Just when you see the light at the
end of the tunnel, someone turns it off.
Nothing is impossible for the person
who doesn't have to do it themselves.
1. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
2. Any given program costs more and takes longer each time it is run.
3. If a program is useful it
will have to be changed.
4. If a program is useless it will have to be documented.
5. Any given program will expand to fill all the available memory.
6. The value of any program is
inversely proportional to the weight
of it's output.
7. Program complexity will grow
until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
In any computer system the machine will always misinterpret,
misconstrue, misprint, or not evaluate any maths or subroutines or fail to print any
output on, at least, the first run through.
When a computer accepts a program without error on the first run,
the program will not yield the required output.
In Nature nothing is ever right, therefore if everything is going
right... something is wrong.
Variables won't, constants aren't.
There is always one more bug.
1. Profanity is the one language understood by all programmers.
2. Not until a program has been in use for six months will the most harmful error be discovered.
3. Job control cards that positively cannot be arranged in improper order, will be.
4. Interchangeable tapes wont't.
5. If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenius idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.
6. If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction.
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If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs then the
first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to it's
desirability.
It works better if you plug it in.
It won't work.
Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps if
you already know the answer.
1. Anything that begins well, ends badly.
2. Anything that begins badly,
ends worse.
To estimate the time it would take to do a task: Estimate the time you
think it would take, multiply by two and change the unit of measure to the
next highest unit. Thus we allocate two days for a one hour task.
If it looks easy it's tough.
If it looks tough, it's damn near impossible.
Adding manpower to late software makes it later.
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it will only
make it worse.
Whatever you did, that's what you planned all along.
Any inaminate object, regardless of it's position,
configuration or purpose, may be expected to perform, at any time, in a
totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely obscure or
else completely mysterious.
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